There Be Dragons

One of the many amazing things about this summer is how much my friendship with the saints have grown.  I love getting to know these Heavenly brothers and sisters, and how much I am able to relate to their stories.

One of my summer reading projects has been The Interior Castle by Saint Teresa of Avila.  Ironically, while I’ve been gone, one of our parish priests has been using the writings of Saint Teresa of Avila as material for his morning mass homilies! Great minds think alike, I suppose.

If you don’t know much about Saint Teresa, let me introduce you to her.  She’s pretty amazing.

She was born in 1515 in Spain, and even from a very young age showed great devotion to a prayer life.  She would go on silent retreats as a child, and was always known for giving away her things to the poor.  When she was five years old, she told her little brother she wished to go fight the Moors and be a martyr.  Her mother and her grew very close, but her mother died when she was only a teenager.  At that point, she dedicated herself to Mama Mary as her mother, a relationship that continued throughout her life.

She went to a convent-run school at age 16, but later became very sick.  Yet she used her time as a patient to grow in spiritual reading, and favored medieval mystics – most of whom Ignatius based his spiritual exercises off of.

In 1535, she entered the Carmelite order, but quickly became aware of the worldliness that had seeped into the order.  High name society visited often, and luxury instead of poverty reigned.  So in the early 1560s, she founded new monasteries and convents that followed the original, stricter rule and embraced the vows of poverty.  Her reform movement sparked concern and she was then investigated during the time of the Spanish Inquisition, but charges were not followed through.

She wrote some amazing pieces on prayer and spirituality and is now a Doctor of the Church – one of only four women to be honored with that title.

It is her work, The Interior Castle that was my adoration hour companion this morning.  Although I am a pretty speedy reader, this book is something that is being very slowly consumed.  I had to share this passage in light of struggles I have had recently and the culture that surrounds us today.

“But we speak of the other souls, who finally enter the castle, because, though they are very much entangled with the world, they have good desires, and sometimes, though rarely, they commend themselves to the Lord, and consider what they are, though not very thoroughly.  Perhaps they pray several times a month, yet with many distractions, since their minds are almost always occupied with business, and because they are so attached to it, their heart is where their treasure is.  Sometimes however, they disentangle themselves, and self-knowledge shows them plainly that they are not in a good way to reach the gate.

Finally, they enter the first room on the lower floor, but many reptiles enter with them, and they do not permit them to either see the beauty of the castle, or to find repose in it; it is, indeed, much that they have entered at all.

The Interior Castle, First Mansions

That passage hit me like a ton of bricks…mostly because I discovered that I was reading the description of my life.  How easy it to read about the Lord, talk about the Lord and never once have a legitimate conversation with Him? To let prayer became mundane, a duty that is often shirked for ‘better things to do’ and then simply counting actions as prayer instead of sitting and listening to God.

And I think the biggest culprit is the lack of knowledge on how to structure a prayer life.

And the second biggest culprit is the access that I give the world into my life.  And how much I enjoy it’s presence there instead of being ok with the knowledge that this world is not my home, and Heaven is my end goal, not a fleeting sense of ‘happiness.’


There be reptiles.  There be dragons.

How do we fight them?

For me, today, it was deleting a lot of social media apps off my phone, and then committing to not checking it nearly so often during the day.  Because the reptile of social media plays a pretty darn large role in the blocking of my view from the beauty of the castle inside my heart.  Maybe it’s removing a deadly friendship that is in your life, or picking up the Bible at a set time each day and not letting that slip.

Mother Teresa once wrote, “Be careful of all that can block personal contact wit the living Jesus.  The Devil may try to use the hurts of your life, and sometimes our own mistakes to make you feel it is impossible that Jesus really loves you, is really cleaving to you.  This is a danger for all of us.  And so sad, because it is completely opposite of what Jesus is really wanting to tell you..  Not only that He loves you, but even more.  He longs for you.  He Misses you when you don’t come close.  He thirsts for you.  He loves you always, even when you don’t feel worthy.  When not accepted by others, even by yourself sometimes.  He is the one who accepts you.  My children, you don’t have to be different for Jesus to love you.  Only believe – you are precious to Him.  Bring all you are suffering to His feet – only open your heart to be loved by Him as you are.  He will do the rest.”

If the goal of this life is to know, love, sand serve God and be ultimately with Him in Heaven, then I think my life could use some simplifying.  I think the world could use some simplifying, in all honesty.

So, hopefully with a little help from my Saintly friends – especially Teresa of Avila, this journey into the interior castle can begin.

#Lovewins

Love.  It’s a four letter word that appears quite a bit in our daily vocabulary, and frankly, in close to every other post on this blog.  Love plays a pretty large part in our lives. Yet what is love?  The world seems to have been asking that question a lot longer than Haddaway penned the words in 1993.

Real sex, real chastity, and frankly, real love involves real work. It’s not easy. But one of my favorite saints, St. Catherine of Sienna, once said “Nothing great is ever achieved without much enduring.”


Let’s start off by what love isn’t, especially in the light of the Supreme Court decision this past week.

Love isn’t use.

We’re called to love people and use things, but very often in today’s world we see others doing the opposite, and sometimes are guilty of it ourselves.  Steve Gershom, a Catholic who struggles with same sex-attraction, wrote this on the subject on his blog.

“Is it hard to be gay and Catholic? Yes, because like everybody, I sometimes want things that are not good for me. The Church doesn’t let me have those things, not because she’s mean, but because she’s a good mother. If my son or daughter wanted to eat sand I’d tell them: that’s not what eating is for; it won’t nourish you; it will hurt you. Maybe my daughter has some kind of condition that makes her like sand better than food, but I still wouldn’t let her eat it. Actually, if she was young or stubborn enough, I might not be able to reason with her — I might just have to make a rule against eating sand. Even if she thought I was mean.
So the Church doesn’t oppose gay marriage because it’s wrong; she opposes it because it’s impossible, just as impossible as living on sand. The Church believes, and I believe, in a universe that means something, and in a God who made the universe — made men and women, designed sex and marriage from the ground up. In that universe, gay marriage doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t fit with the rest of the picture, and we’re not about to throw out the rest of the picture.” 


It’s about not using others for pleasure.  It’s about not using ourselves, or letting ourselves be used.  And that saying ‘no’ to the culture of use (as pointed out BEAUTIFULLY in Laudato Si, Pope Francis’s newest writing) applies to all people, who are all called to love.

Love isn’t a trend or a passing emotion 

We toss around the word ‘love’ quite a bit in our daily vocabulary.  I love T-Swift’s 1989 album.  I love chocolate ice cream.  I love German Shepherds.  But this is love-as-a-passion, which can be pretty darn emotional most times.  It passes.  Next year at this time, T-Swift may not be my favorite.  I may get an inkling for Rocky Road ice cream.  And a chocolate lab may steal my heart.

But a virtuous and giving love doesn’t pass.  It bears all things, believes all things, and hopes all things.  And a good romance has a mix of both.  But it isn’t solely one or the other.  Love as an emotion or as a feeling can’t be used to define love.  Then you will constantly be in search for the next place to find your warm-‘n-fuzzy fix.  Love is a decision, that sometimes has to be made on a day-by-day (heck, sometimes on a minute-by-minute) process.

Love isn’t sex. 

This is perhaps the hardest to swallow, especially because it is the lie that is most promulgated by society today.  “If you really love me…” implies not how much one person is reflecting the light of Christ in the relationship, but if they are ready to take their relationship to the next level.  We live in a world where love = sex and there is no difference.  Adam Levine sings “Your sugar, yes please, won’t you come and lay it down on me?”  Sam Hunt wants to just take our time and Taylor Swift says that boys “only want love if it’s torture.”  Um…what?  That’s not love.  That’s an idolization of sex and an application of it towards the concept of feeling wanted.

According the Catechism of the Catholic Church, people are called to chastity.  Not ‘people who are attracted to the opposite gender are called to chastity” or “people who are attracted to the same gender are called to chastity,” but “PEOPLE are called to chastity.”

“All Christ’s faithful are called to lead a chaste life in keeping with their particular states of life. At the moment of his Baptism, the Christian is pledged to lead his effective life in chastity.”  (CCC 2348).  Our very Baptism urges us on in this quest against the cycle of use, and the reducing of the beauty of authentic, Christ-inspired love, simply down to the singular issue of physical sexuality. 

So what is love?

Love is sacrifice

Mother Teresa one said, “Love to be real, it must cost – it must hurt – it must empty us of self.” True love looks like a God coming down to earth, pouring himself into a human form and loving us despite knowing that He would hang on the cross because of the weight of our sin.  True love is stripped naked, hands splayed out on wooden beams, awaiting the piercing agony of nails being driven into his wrists.  True love?  True love is sacrifice.

“There is no place for selfishness—and no place for fear! Do not be afraid, then, when love makes demands. Do not be afraid when love requires sacrifice”
–Pope John Paul II


Love is hard work.

Love is willing the good of the other as other and wanting to see them in Heaven and spend eternity praising God together.  And being that selfless goes against every fiber of our being.  Instead of wanting what is good for us and what makes us feel or look good, we have to put ourselves third, with first place going to God and second place going to others.

And because love wills the good of the other as other, it wills the good of both the body and the soul.  It realizes that true love, authentic love, can’t be engaging in the physical engagement of homosexual relationships.  It wants the good of the other’s eternal destination…and doesn’t want that person in any place but Heaven.  That’s true love.

#Lovewins.  

Yes, dear hashtag…it does.  But not in the way you think…or the way that today’s culture says it does.  No, #Lovewins because of this reason: “Love never fails.  Where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled.  There this knowledge, it will pass….and now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:8, 13).

Love wins because love doesn’t end.  True love is what Heaven is going to be – true love is the very essence of a God who has no beginning and will have no end.  True love is beautiful and amazing and something that every human being is called to take part in through Christ.

Love is the answer.  God is the answer.


Need

More than I ever thought it could have been, my dating fast has been such a blessing – irony of ironies –  becuase it has let me really focus in on what relationship looks like with an objective point of view.  I was thinking about this quite a bit today while I was running – because, face it, the best thinking is either on the treadmill or in the shower.  Let’s be real. What are some of these thoughts then? 

I don’t want a man to need me. 

I don’t want to be the reason a guy goes to Church.  I don’t want to be the middle man (or lady) between a man and the Lord.  This isn’t to discount the beauty of marriage and willing the good of the other as other.  But to be needed? No thanks.  It sounds harsh, but let me explain. 

Let’s say a man needs me emotionally. What would happen when he doesn’t need me anymore? When I’m not the reason that he’s standing, he can lean weight back on his own two feet and I become the pair of crutches that he needed until things got sorted out and healed? Or if a relationship with me is the substitute for what he really needs?

Because he doesn’t need me.  He needs God

I’m not the one who has seen him at his worst and still can make him whole.  I’m not the one who created his soul and who began his existence in his mother’s womb.  I’m not the one who can forgive all his sins with a single word, and welcome him with open arms and unconditional love.  But you know who can fulfill all of that and more?

Colossians 2:10 has a beautiful answer to that question.



For in Christ all the fullness<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29504P" data-link="(P)” style=”box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”> of the Deity lives in bodily form,
 and in Christ you have been
brought to fullness.
He is the head<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29505Q" data-link="(Q)” style=”background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”>
 over every power and authority.”

Yet not wanting to be needed is a two way street – I don’t want to need him either.

Whether that be the elusive him, the could be, who I ‘need’ in my life before I grow in my faith life…or the actual him who pursues me.  I want who I am as a child of God to be defined without him.  Because when two incomplete, half-people marry each other, they don’t complete each other.  They are just two halves that are struggling to find out who they really are.  I don’t need someone to complete me, because that is my maker’s job.

I don’t want to be defined by the need to be needed.  My definition of who I am is found in the fact that I am child of God. 

What does this all boil down to? A healthy relationship is a relationship that is built on the basis of an identification in God.  You are not defined by who you are with or who you aren’t.  You are not the sum of your failures, weaknesses or needs.  You are summed up by the Father’s love for you. (JPII).  Don’t fall in love with the idea of being needed by someone.  Don’t be in a relationship just because you don’t want to not feel lonely. The healthy relationship is one that works like a triangle.  You’re common need is not each other, or affirmation, or affection.  Your commonality lies in the common goal of God and eternity with Him. Each side of the triangle (both the guy and the gal) are working towards a commonality that is not themselves and is not each other.  Instead, they are working together towards a greater good that is outside themselves and requires sacrifice.  That’s what marriage is – not someone fulfilling your needs, but instead you both bringing each other closer to the one who is the author of love.  

Don’t need someone.  Don’t be needed. Instead, find your identity in the unmovable.  Feelings change.  Needs Change.  Wants change.  But the Lord? Not so much.  In fact, Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”  That sounds like a constant to me.

Thoughts? I’d love to hear what you think on the subject.

In Christ,
Chloe 

Christ’s Wedding Day

Good Friday.  The day we set aside once a year to commemorate the death of Our Lord for our sins and the opening of the gates of Heaven for our salvation. We remember God, who took on human nature and all of it’s messiness in order to spend eternity with us, His beloved children, and His beloved bride, The Church.

What if we thought of Good Friday as a a wedding feast in conjunction with Christ’s sacrificial love?  In his book, Jesus the Bridegroom: The Greatest Love Story Ever Told, Brant Pitre examines the actual event of the crucifixion in the light of historical Jewish wedding.  He places Christ as the Heavenly bridegroom and the Church as His eternal bride.
In an earlier post, I wrote about how Christ yearns to be intimate with us, emptying Himself into something so simple as bread and wine so that He can physically be within our very bodies.  In Mass tonight, the Homily focused on Christ’s desire for us to know God – to be intimate with Him.  Not just to know about Him, but to really know Him as the most important thing in our lives. 
In Biblical terms, the phrase “to know” indicates a physical relationship, or an absolute knowledge of the other. The Hebrew word is “Yada.”  John  W. Ritenbaugh in his study of the old testament Hebrew language wrote, 

“At times, the Bible uses “to know” as a euphemism for sexual intimacy. Paul is not saying here [in Philippians 3:8-10] that he desires sexual intimacy with Christ, but that he greatly desires spiritual intimacy with Him. He wants to be so close to Him that he experiences the same level of life as Jesus did—even to the point of suffering or dying as He died, if that is necessary to be made like Him in every possible way. He desires to glorify God in every aspect of his life just as Jesus did.”

 In Joshua 23:14, Joshua gathers the people to tell them about their relationship with the Lord.  “Behold this day I am going into the way of all the earth, and you shall know with all your mind that of all the words which the Lord promised to perform for you, not one hath failed. ” 

In Luke 1:34, Mary’s eternal virginity is emphasized with her lack of previous intimacy and full knowledge with any man. “And Mary said to the angel: How shall this be done, because I know not man?

Christ desires to be intimate with us.  To have absolute knowledge of us.  In John 17:3-4, He prays to the Father before His passion. “Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.  I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do.”  
And what is more physical than Christ’s passion and death for our salvation?  He is betrayed with a kiss from a close follower, and then goes through the most physically excruciating death imaginable for a person in the fist century.  He is covered in His own blood, the physical life of His body (and the spiritual life of ours), and drags a wooden beam through streets crowded with the jeering of the souls He is on His way to die to save.  His body is fastened and hoisted in the sky, where He physically must thrust Himself up to fill His lungs. 
All the while, He thinks of you.
And when the crowds yell at Him to come down from the cross and prove that He is God, He thinks of you.  “I can’t come down from the cross.  I have to stay up here for (insert your name) because one day, even if it’s over two thousand years in the future, they are going to need me.  And how can I teach them of the beauty of suffering if I give up now?”  
And then, “It is finished.”  There is a spear thrust into His heart that is so full of overflowing love for our soul despite how much pain we have caused Him that blood and water flow from His side.
Brant Pitre points out the significance of this final physical aspect of Christ’s death. “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept he took out one of his side (Greek pleura) and closed up its place with the flesh; and the rib which the Lord had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to man….so too Jesus falls into the sleep of death, and blood and water flow from his side (Greek pleura) And just as the miraculous creation of the first bride from the side of Adam is the foundation of marriage of man and woman, so the miraculous flow of blood and water from the side of Jesus is the origin and foundation of the marriage of Christ and the Church.”
So Christ pours out His very life on the altar of the Cross on Good Friday, that supposedly dark day that ushered in the redemption of our souls from a debt that we could never pay off.  And the Catholic Mass taps into the eternal sacrifice at Calvary.

 In The Faith of Millions, John A. O’Brien said, “The Mass is the renewal and perpetuation of the sacrifice of the cross in the sense that it offers [Jesus] anew to God . . . and thus commemorates the sacrifice of the cross, reenacts it symbolically and mystically, and applies the fruits of Christ’s death upon the cross to individual human souls. All the efficacy of the Mass is derived, therefore, from the sacrifice of Calvary.”

What will your wedding gift to Christ be?  A Sunday morning hour when convenient for you? He sacrificed His entire life for you…are you willing to do the same for him? 

You’re His "The One"

Tonight I was listening to a talk by Father Mike Schmitz about the beauty found in the sacrament of the Eucharist.  This post includes some of Father Mike’s thoughts with a little bit of Chloe-isms sprinkled in. 

We’re physical beings.  We have bodies that reside here on a physical earth, surronded by things that we interact with through taste, touch, smell and sound.  We connect with the tangible.  Although we have an eternal soul, we are able to experience the goodness God has provided for here on this earth with our bodies.

Including love.  And other people.  As someone whose love language is physical touch, I can so attest to this.  Body language speaks volumes.  There have been times that I have felt loved simply by someone taking the time to put their arms around me and give me a genuine hug.

Physical touch and contact with friends and family is easy to find.  It’s there in a romantic relationship too.  But what about my relationship with God?  How does my love language translate into my relationship with the Divine? There have been countless times that I have turned to my girlfriends and said “If only Christ could wrap me in His arms and I could feel his warmth in a hug.  And if He wore cologne.” That would be what they call the dream. 

love animated GIF

Luckily, Christ knows the aching of my heart and has the answer (does He ever not?).  He yearns to pull us closer to His heart.  He doesn’t want to just be acquainted with us.  Or be there when we need Him.  Or even be really close friends.  He wants to be intimate with us.

Father Mike tackled this subject of the physical desire, and said, “We shake hands with everyone.  There are a smaller number of people who we would hug.  Even a smaller number of people who we’d kiss.  A smaller number still who we’d kiss like that. And only in the sacrament of marriage are we called to give ourselves totally to another physically.”

Christ doesn’t just want to shake our hands, or give us a friendly nod as we pass Him in the hallways.  He doesn’t just want to give us a hug when we feel bad, or a kiss when we need some lovin’.  No – Christ wants to give His entire self to us.  All of Him.  His whole body, and even His very blood.

But to those of us who have been walking around the Catholic block for quite a while, that amazing mystery seems common place.  Going to Church this Sunday to receive the very body of the creator of the universe? Sure, we’ll take some of that.  We may or not be more excited for the doughnuts after Church though.

Yet day after day, we spend our lives yearning, aching for the one.  Not just someone, or a one, or anyone, but The One. We love love, and want someone to return the feeling.

Yet when we receive communion, every Mass becomes a wedding between you and the best lover in the history of forever.

A lover who knows me better than I know myself.  Who not only recognizes my hopes and dreams, but has plans to amplify them and sweep me off of my feet…and off the path defined by my will.  I think it’s time I got to know that lover better.  He knows the count of hairs on my head…and sometimes I can count the number of times I’ve prayed this week on one hand.

In the Song of Songs, the story of a lover who desires the good of his beloved is woven throughout the language of a fantastic romance.  But at the core of this is the story of a God who is enamored with His beloved.  You’re God’s “The One.”

Song of Songs 7:10 “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.”

He desires us…are we willing to make Him our one

Goodbye Comfort, Hello Greatness

Lent.  We all know it, we all have mixed feelings about it.  But the truth of the matter is that, in a mere thirty five minutes, Lent 2015 starts.

What’s the point?  Why not eat meat, give extra money away, pray more and toss the Alleluia and Glory to God out the window?

We’ll walk around with ashes on our heads and a little spot in our hearts wishing that Easter was already here so we could indulge in that chocolate that we’ve been craving all week.  And let’s not even talk about the Catholic phenomena about how McDonald’s hamburgers never sound good until a Friday during Lent.

But if it’s all just mortification and the ever present message that we’re going to die some day in the not-so-far future, why even do Lent?  It can be depressing, and the weight of the sacrifice can feel incredibly heavy sometimes.  And if it’s all for naught anyway, why even bother.

I’ll let someone with a much more rich theological knowledge help out:

“Through fasting and praying, we allow Him to come and satisfy the deepest hunger that we experience in the depths of our being: the hunger and thirst for God” – Pope Benedict XVI.

The Deepest Hunger.

But how true!  We hunger for food because in this world there is food that will fill our stomachs and stop the hunger.  We thirst because in this world there is water (or coffee, whatever the case may be) to quench our physical thirst.

We crave love because there is an infinite and fulfilling love out there, ready to take our souls by storm and turn our lives upside down with His passion for us.

A passion and desire that God has for us to be with Him that is so great that he He wants to consume our very lives with it’s power.

Not just six hours of our lives until Easter.  Don’t let your lent become something you do when it’s convenient or when you happen to be at Mass on Sunday.

God is crazy in love with you.  And not the feel good warm fuzzy love.  The beaten to an inch of his life, thrown down and nailed on a cross, take every sin that was and will be onto his soul and lay it all out for YOU.

God thinks you are worth pursuing.

And what a beautiful opportunity Lent is – the chance to connect your suffering to the cross and relieve the burden of sin from Our Lord’s back!  The beauty of a crucifixion that exists outside of the human concept of time is the ability that we have to connect our suffering to Christ’s as He hangs on the cross for you.

Don’t let this Lent pass you by.  Don’t sit in the pew on Easter morning and think “Man, Lent went by fast this year!  I missed the chance to do anything…again.”  Seize this Lent as a chance to become a better version of you (thank you Matthew Kelly) and become fully alive.

“The world offers you comfort but you are not made for comfort.  You are made for greatness.” – Pope Benedict XVI.

Let’s make this a GREAT Lent.

Justin Timberlake and Love

This morning my little six year old brother Liam rushed into my room, waving a Valentine’s Day card from our grandparents.  He was ecstatic, but also a little frustrated.  

“They spelled my name wrong!! My name isn’t spelled L-O-V-E! It’s spelled L-I-A-M!”  

And while this super adorable little man is needing some spelling lesson improvement, he’s actually got a beautiful life lesson wrapped into his ability to only recognize the letter ‘L’.

Although those in our family know us by our name, what we define as important, our passions and our jobs, we are so much more than that.  And we’re more than our plans, hopes and mistakes.  

Because when God looks into your contrite heart, He doesn’t see what you think makes you.  Your trip ups, your failings. He sees love.  He sees you – His Child and His creation…and His good.  But sometimes that unconditional and infinite love can be scary.  So we huddle in our plans and hide behind our will and what we perceive as our good.  

It’s safe, and it’s secure.  And when you take a break from all the security, you realize you feel completely and utterly alone.

And that’s now how you were created to be.  Galatians 1:10 says, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”  You don’t have to impress people. We strive to follow and obey, and, in essence, fall in love with God.

There is a song that explains this b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l-l-y. And it’s by Justin Timberlake. Didn’t expect that combination, did you?

The song is called “Mirrors” and while it is regularly sang by a gentleman with a certain lady in mind, but my challenge to you tonight is to read through the lyrics and read it as if God and you are singing it to each other.

Aren’t you somethin’ to admire?

Genesis 1:31 “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.”‘

Cause your shine is somethin’ like a mirror
And I can’t help but notice
You reflect in this heart of mine


Genesis 1:27 “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them”

If you ever feel alone and
The glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I’m always
Parallel on the other side 


Hebrews 4:15 “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin.”

‘Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there’s no place we couldn’t go .


Matthew 19:26 “Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible”

Just put your hand on the glass
I’m trying to pull you through

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” 

You just gotta be strong
‘Cause I don’t wanna lose you now
I’m lookin’ right at the other half of me. 
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is the space that now you hold 


Romans 8:38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.”

Show me how to fight for now
And I’ll tell you baby, it was easy 
Comin’ back here to you

John 14: 1-3 “
 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”


You were right here all along
It’s like you’re my mirror
My mirror staring back at me. 

Colossians 3:10 “And have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator”

I couldn’t get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it’s clear as this promise
That we’re making two reflections in one 

Song of Songs 2:13 “Arise, come, my darling;my beautiful one, come with me”

‘Cause it’s like you’re my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me.
Aren’t you somethin’, an original
‘Cause it doesn’t seem merely a sample
And I can’t help but stare, ’cause
I see truth somewhere in your eyes


I can’t ever change without you
You reflect me, I love that about you
And if I could, I would look at us all the time. 



Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”


‘Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul

I can tell you there’s no place we couldn’t go.

Romans 8:31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”


Just put your hand on the glass
I’ll be tryin’ to pull you through
You just gotta be strong


1 Corinthians 1:25 “For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.”

‘Cause I don’t wanna lose you now
I’m lookin’ right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold


Romans 5:5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

Show me how to fight for now.
And I’ll tell you baby, it was easy
Comin’ back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along.


Luke 15:20
And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.”


It’s like your my mirror
My mirror staring back at me.
I couldn’t get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it’s clear as this promise


2 Peter 1:4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.”

That we’re making two reflections in one.
‘Cause it’s like your my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me.

Yesterday is history. 

Psalm 103:12 He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.”


Tomorrow’s a mystery

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

I can see you lookin’ back at me.
Keep your eyes on me

Baby, keep your eyes on me. 

Psalm 16:8 I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-14101A" data-link="(A)” style=”box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”> I will not be shaken.”

Now you’re the inspiration for this precious song.
And I wanna see your face light up since you put me on


So now I say goodbye to the old me, it’s already gone
And I can’t wait wait wait wait to get you home
Just to let you know, you are, you are the love of my life.  


You’re my reflection, all I see is you

Songs of Songs 8:6 “Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”


My reflection, in everything I do. 
You’re my reflection and all I see is you. 

My reflection in everything I do. 

God has loved you at your darkest.  Your brightest.  Your best and worst.  And despite seeing you at both ends of the spectrum, He loves you and wants to spend eternity with you.

Will you open the door to your heart and let His love into your life?

Will you love Him in return?

Honesty Hour: It’s Porn.

We hide things that we know aren’t right.  It’s human nature.  It’s Adam and Eve hiding in the garden after they had sinned.  It’s a child will hide a bad report card, or avoids talking about something that went wrong . 

“In an early preview of the sex-filled film ’50 Shades of Grey’ for a ‘Today’ show audience, the daughter of actor Don Johnson and actress Melanie Griffith nervously said, ‘I don’t want my parents to see it.'”

“I don’t want my parents to see it.”

Why would she hide her part in a blockbuster film?  Wouldn’t her parents be proud of her fame?  Her accomplishment? Her acting abilities?  How she had followed in their footsteps into the entertainment industry?

She doesn’t want her parents to see it because “50 Shades of Grey” –  regardless of how it is portrayed by celebrities, social media or reviews, is pornography. 
And we hide the things we know will disappoint the ones who authentically love us.

If you don’t know much about “50 Shades of Grey,” one of my favorite Catholic speakers and all around man after God’s own heart, Matt Fradd, tells you 50 things about it that are quite good information to have. 

100 million copies of this book sold.  100 million souls looking for love.  LOVE.

How twisted is it that as a society, we are entertained by watching a man physically use a woman with skills he had to learn by visiting a sex dungeon.  On top of that, these were skills that himself was so ashamed of that he had to go take a shower before touching his wife and newborn child.

His wife and newborn child. 

To be living in a sacrament where you go home and you are called to sacrifice for your wife and for your family as Paul instructs in Ephesians 5:25 when he says “Husbands, love your wife just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.”

Yet to provide for your family you are participating in an entertainment source in which objectifies both men and women and distorts the something so sacred – human sexuality – the very act that brought your newborn child into existence is now perverted for the world’s entertainment source.   

The closest human beings can come to on earth to reflect the Trinity is through sexual intercourse…so why wouldn’t that be the thing that Satan attacks most viciously?  One of the most beautiful reflections of God’s love for us, cheapened.

If we truly knew how sacred sex is – instead of the view that “50 Shades of Grey” tells us what sex “should” be. 

According to that book and screen play, sex should be controlling.  Manipulating behavior. 

That is the opposite of the beauty of sex that God created it to be.

Free.  Total.  Faithful.  Fruitful.

“50 Shades of Grey” paints a stark contrast.

Free?  Both the characters are held captive by their lust for each other’s bodies and the pleasure they can give each other. 

Total?  How can you love the other totally when all you look to them for is what they can give to you – not how you can serve them? 

Faithful?  Christian talks about how many other women he’s already been with….why should Anastasia be any different? 

Fruitful?  Is this relationship drawing both of them closer to Christ and His selfless love?  Is it open to life?  In fact, the relationship is draining the lives of Christian and Anastasia with each dip into further and further sin and damaging objectification.

A view into the destruction that can sink into lives ruined by abuse and objectification is found in the main character, Anastasia, who can be found on her bed in the last chapter of the book, crying because she has given her heart and body to a man who just wants her body.

Matt Fradd writes, “Some say, ‘Yes, but being dominated and threatened is so much more exciting than faithful marital sex,’ to me, that’s analogous the meth-head who thinks normal, un-high life is boring. In both cases I just want to extend sympathy.”

Even the title of this book trilogy has two coins to it.  The first is a play on words from the last name of the main character, Christian Grey.  The second is more profound.

Anastasia claims the world isn’t black and white.  It’s surrounded by different shades of grey.

What does Christ say about that?  Is it really subjective to look at something like “50 Shades of Grey” and decide for yourself whether it’s bad or good for you?  In 1 Corinthians 13:6, Paul writes, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”

But the so called love on this screen is glamorous!  It’s popular!  It’s exciting! An escape from reality! Society raves about this new “Mommy Porn” as it’s frequently dubbed.

It is unfair to demand that for all to guard their eyes against the harms of lust and visual pornography, and then retreat to erotic entertainment and the manipulation of emotions, hidden under the guise of “Romance” and a “Love Story.”

All should be appalled and sickened if we overheard a conversation from people glorifying visual pornography.  If playboy magazines were strewn over and written into screen plays and people proudly downloaded pornography

That is a double standard and it needs to stop.  Right now.

Porn is porn.  Abuse is abuse.  Objectification (of both sexes) is objectification.

Seems pretty black and white to me. 

14 Days Into the Journey

Well, it’s been two weeks since the dating fast started.

It has been a crazy ride in such a short period of time.

When starting out the dating fast, of course I entered with visions of grandeur, a clean and tidy dating fast in which I would automatically fall more in love with God.  I mean, how could you not?

Little did I count in the fact that my emotions are at sometimes, ok, fine, all the times, crazy.  

This is basically how my dating fast prep went:

The month before the dating fast started:  Ah, this is going to be the best thing ever for my spiritual life. How have I not done this before?  Get to know people without tons of relationships expectations, and just relax.  Cannot wait for this dating fast to start.

The day before the dating fast started: Holy canole.  What in the world am I getting myself into. I’m in college.  If I don’t meet someone now, it is only going to get harder.  This is huge.  This could be the semester where I meet someone.  And I’m going to have to say no because I’m on this dating fast.

Day 1:  I got this!  Heart to heart talks with God, some scheduled time for the Bible, this is great. This is better than great.

Day 5: Ok, it’s hard.  In fact, it’s really hard.  I’m surrounded by available, great guys everywhere I turn.  In class.  In the library.  When I go to dinner.  At work.  In my social groups.  Can I just join a convent?  This would be much easier if I could do a dating fast with no men around.  I feel like the only safe guys to talk to are those who are related to me and seminarians/deacons/priests.  I’m so in trouble if this is how it’s going to be for the next four months.

Day 9: Ok, how have I never noticed all these couples before?  They are literally everywhere?  That kid is in 4th grade and has a boyfriend?  What am I doing with my life?

And then I caught myself.  Because I’d fallen (again) into the trap that what I needed so badly was a relationship with a guy.  I was getting tripped up by guys because I was hoping that there was some potential there somewhere.  And frankly, that’s pretty darn selfish.

Things went from:

“Oh! What a great guy! He opens doors and doesn’t cuss and is super into his faith.”

into

“Hmm…what would our relationship look like.”

Instead of 

“Thank you Lord for a man of God who serves you with His heart.  Strengthen him on his journey and help him do Your will.”

There is a great story about three men who go out for a walk on a summer evening.  As they stroll through the park, they walk past a young woman in a revealing top.  The first man immediately averts his eyes, doesn’t acknowledge the woman’s presence at all and continues on the walk.  The second man indulges in the beauty of the woman for his own good, and cranes his neck to stare at her as she walks past.  The third man acknowledges the woman with a friendly smile and continues on the path, and takes a moment quietly pray Psalm 84:1 – “How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of Hosts!”

This can be applied to dating fasts too.

The first approach is to totally avoid guys at all costs.  You can’t date ’em, you don’t even want to see ’em.  This results in always wearing earbuds and sunglasses and may or may not include frequent midnight McDonalds runs for food incognito.

The second approach is to go all out.  You’re on a dating fast, but dating is flirting.  Dating isn’t texting.  You’re just lining the options up for when you are done with the fast and in for the feast.

The third option is acknowledge the beauty that God has created in this world (including guys in your life) and thank Him for them.  And then, continue along the path.

So, that’s the goal for the remaining weeks.  Acknowledge and appreciate, then find total fulfillment in God alone.  Pretty lofty goals, but with God all things are possible.

Any thoughts? Tips or hints for dating fasts? (pass them over, I will take anything you can give me.)

God bless!!

Chloe

Falling in Love with Authentic Love

I love love.

Romantic comedies, Disney movies, life chats about relationships, engagement stories, wedding pictures.

My soul sister is Anna from Frozen because of her jump-in-head-first love mentality. (spoiler, that doesn’t end well for her.)

disney enchanted true love cinderella Giselle snow white anna frozen kristoff

So it may come as a shock that the idea of a dating fast has been on my mind quite a lot recently.  And that this semester I’m going to begin a search for authentic love.

And that doesn’t just mean no dating.  It actually entails a lot.

Whoa.  Giving up going out? Flirting? Stalking a guy emotionally (and on Facebook)? Giving up planning out your future children’s names and how they will look so cute in baby blazers and chuck taylors? Deleting that secret Pinterest wedding board?

frustrated animated GIF
What will I even do with all my time now?

I spent my last two years of high school anxiously waiting for college to finally get here just so that things could be different.  I spent freshman year with my fingers crossed that if I could get the right friends, do the right activities and be at the right places at the right times, things would change for the better.

A.K.A., I’d get a date.  Let’s be real here.

Family gatherings or life chats with friends quickly turn to a potential relationship discussion, followed by questions about when I was finally going to go out on date.

parks and recreation animated GIF
“Don’t worry, you’ll find someone someday sometime” 

I was living in a little world where I was looking for just the right guy, and in the mean time, I was an incomplete person, waiting for my better half.  I felt as if something was missing – something from my life was not there, and when I found that one piece of the life puzzle, it would all fall into place.

And I was right.

But it wasn’t a guy who was going to turn things around and lead to sunset-gazing, hand-holding, long-walks-together wonderfulness.

It was the guy.

Or specifically, this guy.

Because I had quickly forgotten in the span of my freshman-sophomore years that I am a daughter of God who is beautiful, unique, and worthy of love.  I had forgotten that I was worth more than I could ever imagine.  “More than how many girls wish they were me or how many guys wish they had me.  Regardless of who I thought I was, the reality was is that I deserved someone who would give up their life for me.” (And if you ever need a pep talk this is the one.)

And I had Him.  But I’d just brushed Him off into the corner to pull out when I felt like it.

I had let my “God journal” become my “Guy journal.”  I had so many talks with God on the walks back from class about if He could just work this one out than I would for sure make my daily Bible reading a priority again.  And I just needed a spiritual guy leader in my life to help me out.

The one day, I heard a question that shook me.

“If the guy of your dreams were to walk into your life right now, would you even be the kind of girl that he would be looking for?”

And I honestly had to say no.  I had spent so much time creating a list of characteristics that I was looking for that it had skipped my mind that I should be working on those virtues too.

 Enter the dating fast.

No dating for this Spring 2015 semester.  No mentally stalking guys.  No pinterest binge nights and rants on how I had everything ready for my future wedding but the guy (which, it turns out, is a pretty important part).

I’m giving God this semester not because I’ve given up on being found by a great guy.  Not because I’ve dated guys a lot during high school and college and have been burnt by it. Not because I’ve broken up with the concept of love.

parks and recreation animated GIF
Nope, not the reason 

But because I want to first fall in love with the man who died to get to know me.  Because I’m tired of walking into Mass and scoping it out for potential guys of interest.  Because I want to know what an authentic God filled relationship would look like.

Because my life needs some silent time to find out what the voice of God even sounds like…so that when He says “There’s the one” I know who is talking.  Or that if He says that and points to His son, I can respond without hesitation.

I am in no way saying that dating is a bad thing.  In fact, it’s very good.  You usually can’t end up with a great person unless you go on some dates with ’em.

But I don’t believe I’m going to be looking back on this fast in five months and saying “Darn it, growing closer to the Lord and treating people like brothers and sisters in Christ was such a waste of time.  Wouldn’t do that again.”

Is it going to be tough? Heck yes.  But one of my favorite women of God, Saint Catherine of Sienna, once said, “Nothing great is ever achieved without much enduring.”   

No one one their death bed looks back and wishes they hadn’t gotten to know God and His children better.

So, what are your thoughts?  Have you, too, struggled with emotional chastity and dating obsessions? Let me know in the comments below!

In Christ,

Chloe