Holidays as a Couple

Well, it’s that most wonderful time of the year.  (Stop right there before you pull out your Christmas stockings and holly and go read my last post).  But it’s true – Thanksgiving will be here in just a short nine days, and after that, blink twice and you’ll be cleaning up the wrapping paper from your living room. 

Yet for some, the holiday season can become more stressful than necessary due to the s word.  No, not snow.  Sharing.

Sharing the holiday as a couple can be challenging and a new experience depending on how long you and your significant other have been together.  Going through this experience for the first time myself has not been nearly as worrying as I anticipated and it’s for a couple of reasons that I’d like to share with you.

Communication

The way you spend your holidays together starts long before the holiday arrives on the calendar.  Have a conversation with each other about when and if you want to spend the holidays together.  If you’re just brand new to dating, it may be spent differently than if you’ve been dating each other for a while.  You may both have family traditions that happen at the exact same time.  So to avoid the chaos and stress that comes from the holiday season, start talking and opening up to each other about what you would love your holidays to look like together. 
 

Don’t Overload

It’s easy once you’ve talked about sharing the holidays to automatically want to share all of the holiday experiences that you treasure with your significant other.  But if you say yes to doing everything with each friend group, work group, family group, and each other, then you’re going to find yourself with a schedule so packed that you’re going to have to pencil in time to sit down and catch a breath.  While it’s true that the holidays are supposed to be about family and friends and a shared experience, it’s also ok to know what level of interaction you’re comfortable with.  Also take into account each other’s personalities.  If you’re favorite tradition is a loud family gathering with all of your twenty-seven cousins (thirty-three if you count the once-removed ones) and your significant other is an introvert, than it is critical that you don’t overload him or her with the experience.  Which brings us to the next tip…


Speak each other’s language 

I don’t know if you’ve read Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages, and if you haven’t, grab a copy and make that your holiday reading goal.  In his book, Dr. Chapman reveals the five love languages that everyone speaks.  Sometimes the problems with couples arise when you simply don’t speak each other’s love language.  Don’t let your excitement over the holidays get lost in translation when relating to your significant other this season – especially if your boyfriend or girlfriend’s love language is different than that of your own.  So, once again, keep lines of communications open with each other and make sure each other’s love tank is full going into the holidays.  It’s stressful enough to be in new situations and interacting with new traditions – but you don’t have to feel out of of place during them if each of you is aware of the other’s needs as part of a couple.

Don’t idolize each other


Just like it is easy to idolize the notion of Christmas and the traditions or rituals that go along with them, it’s also easy to idolize and idealize the person you spend the holidays with.  Although it is incredibly important to appreciate each other and your talents and shared experiences, it is equally if not more important to remember the reason why you are celebrating – which is Christ’s presence in a broken world.  

Turn your joy outward 

C.S. Lewis, you’ve got to love him.  He has this beautiful quote about love and says, Lovers are always talking to one another about their love; Friends hardly ever about their Friendship. Lovers are normally face to face, absorbed in each other; Friends, side by side, absorbed in some common interest.”

It is easy to make the holiday about yourself and your boyfriend or girlfriend.  Even when you include family in the celebrations, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-absorption. The way to remedy this is to turn your joy for Thanksgiving and Christmas outward.  Maybe that means volunteer work together while you’re free during the week.  Or maybe it’s taking each other’s little siblings outside after dinner and enjoying quality time with them.  It could be pulling away from conversations about yourself and being interested in the lives of those around you.  In whatever way you choose, make sure this holiday season is not about you….it’s about how you are Christ to others.

So holidays as a couple are not something to stress over – they are something to enjoy.  After all, the greatest holiday experience is to spend the season with those you love.


So start talking, pull out your planner, take a deep breath, pour yourself some eggnog and Be Not Afraid. 

Before You Light Your Christmas Tree

Merry Christmas from 20 Terrific Creatives - My Modern Metropolis: Call me Scrooge and shout “Bah Humbug” as I pass by, but I’m not ready for the Christmas season.  I cringe as I grocery shop around inflatable snowmen and posters of Santa’s arrival at the mall make me want to avoid the area.  When commercials for Christmas came onto my social media feed before Halloween had even occurred, I really started to think about why the concept of such an early preparation for a celebration didn’t sit well with me.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy the Christmas season, don’t get me wrong.  It’s actually my favorite season of the entire year.  My family has some amazing traditions (granted, I’m highly biased) and nothing makes it ‘feel like Christmas’ than bundling up in pajamas, stuffing all ten of us in a car and going around looking at Christmas lights while eating ice cream.  Or putting up the Christmas tree on the Eve of Christmas Eve and lighting a fire while reminiscing about Christmas past.  And my favorite part of the day is when I am sitting with my family late on Christmas night and opening gifts made by the hands of little siblings.

Yet the beauty and significance of the holiday has lost its meaning in a world mesmerized with the money to be made in a season – instead of discerning the reason that there are gifts under a tree on the morning of December 25th.

I celebrate a liturgical feast where I am enamored with a woman, full of grace, who said yes to a plan of radical love despite social expectations and reactions.  I love the presence of a man who said yes to the responsibility of being an earthly father figure to Our Lord and the protection of a Holy Family.  I am head over heels for the lowliest of the low of society, shepherds, being the first to hear a call of “Be Not Afraid” and then be transformed into missionaries who spread the word about a God became Man.  I love a weary world rejoicing in the love of their long-awaited Savior.

Because even if there were no trees, no festivities, no lights on Main street, the beauty of the Christmas season is not found in things…it’s found in relationships.  In the wise words of my favorite saint, “People are meant to be loved and things are meant to be used.  The confusion in this world occurs when things are loved and people are used”  (JPII)  So my love for Christmas time is not wrapped in paper.  It is found in the beauty of family gathered around a dinner table.  It is found in a Mass at midnight, lit by candles and the joy of a family who has been spread out over the country finally getting a chance to come together.

There doesn’t need to be snow on the ground or lights on my porch banisters for Christmas to occur.    Christ came in the form of a baby, and then lived on the earth and gave us His body and blood regardless of our appreciation or celebration.  His quiet sacrificial love is something that should be emulated in each and every day of our life, not just for thirty days in the winter months.

So when November 26th draws to a close and the rush ensues to trim a tree and hang the stockings, you won’t find me there.  While Christmas carols will gladly be filling my house and thoughts of how to best surprise people and show them how much I care about them will occupy my thoughts, the person who will be at the forefront of my mind is not a man in a red suit, but a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes.  The rest of the world will call me crazy, but I’m looking forward to celebrating the birth of a God who died to get to know me, and I don’t need an eggnog latte to make that official.

What I’m Drinking: Once again, the amount of coffee that has been consumed this week is borderline addiction level.  I’m averaging a good five cups a day, and that doesn’t count the two cups I usually have at night.  I heard on the news today though that coffee is just as good for you as water, because it is in fact 97% water.  But then they dropped in the line about how this only applies if you drink your coffee with no sweeteners, so that comforting statistic quickly dropped out of the window for me.

The convenient store two minutes from my house put their coffee on sale for ninety-nine cents for any size cup.  That’s a disaster waiting to happen for me – it’s been two weeks since this sale started (which will go ’til the end of January) and the clerks already know me by name and face.

             

So my coffee for the past week has mostly consisted of the above, and I’m not complaining. Coffee for the week and under $10? Nope, not a complaint at all from this addict.
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What I’m Thinking: How interesting is it that everyone puts up a facade of ‘having it all together’ for each other?  We go about our lives with the phrase “I’m fine!” as the response  to anyone asking us how we’re doing, and we may not even have anyone in our lives who really asks us “No, how are you really doing?”

It’s okay to not have it all together – believe me, I’ll be the first in line to say that I am falling apart.  Some days I’m making it minute by minute by the grace of God, held together by Him and a bunch of good intentions.

Yet what is even more amazing than the solidarity found in this day-in-day-out struggle is the beauty of a God who has been through our experiences and has remained steady in the face of adversity, hardship, and temptation.  The readings this weekend were on point for this subject.  The first reading was from the book of Isiah, and check these verses out:

“Yet it was the will of the Lord to bruise him; he was put to grief; when he makes himself an offering for sin, he shall see his offspring, he shall prolong his days; the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.  He shall see the fruit of the travail of his soul and be satisfied, by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities.”  (Isaiah 53:10-11).

Then, the relate-ability of Christ to our struggles was magnified in the second reading from Hebrews, where Paul wrote,

“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the Heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confessions.  For we have not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we,  yet without sin.  Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

It’s ok to not be ok.  It’s also highly recommended to draw near to the one who has it together at all times – Christ Jesus.  People will disappoint us.  Friends and even family will come and go, creating ripples in our lives.  But Christ?  He’s the steady one who we can lean on – he’s not going to shift with time, but instead promises to be a presence

So lean on him.  Don’t loose hope or get lost in the struggle.  Go get yourself some ninety-nine cent coffee.  Be Not Afraid. 

God’s Love Song to Himself

Oh God come to my assistance.  Oh Lord make haste to help me.

These words have ended my evening every night for almost the past two months.  This summer I’ve been able to pray night prayer every night with priests, fellow college students, adults on fire for their faith, and high school kids who are eager to learn everything they can about being Catholic.

If you don’t know about Liturgy of the Hours (which I didn’t until I went to college…and I was homeschooled) you are in luck.   Let me introduce you to a beautiful prayer of the Church.  It’s also known as the Divine Office or the Work of God and is the prayer used in the Catholic Church to pass the day around the foundation of prayer.  It is “The voice of the Bride herself [the Church] addressed to her Bridegroom [Christ] It is the very prayer which Christ himself together with his Body addresses the Father.”  (SC 84) This is amazing!! Words can’t describe how neat this is! (How neat is that?)  The prayers consist of the Office of Readings, Morning Prayer, Daytime Prayer, Evening Prayer and Night Prayer.

Just the liturgy of the hours in themselves are amazing.  You get to pray the same prayer that Catholics are praying around the world at all times.  You join in with priests from Africa, sisters and nuns from Europe, your own bishop, and the Pope in Rome.  On top of that, the Psalms were what Christ Himself prayed with during His time on earth.

The Psalms are a book of the Bible that I have slowly but surely begin to fall deeply in love with.  I originally thought they were just David’s song to the Lord, which made it a bit awkward to read, honestly. It was like seeing notes that my parents had written each other when they were dating.  Beautiful and awesome, yes, but I still felt like I was intruding on their love story, when I wanted my own.  I felt that the Psalms were a David-and-God thing, and Chloe was the third wheel, reading their love letters of their shoulder.

Then one of the priests with us at Prayer and Action said something one night while explaining night prayer that caught me off guard and made me want to delve into the Psalms with more excitement than I had ever felt about scripture.

The Psalms are God’s love song to Himself that we get to sing to Him.

Whoa. Imagine your in a relationship and your significant other tells you exactly what to do to make them feel loved and appreciated.  They told you what they liked to do on a date, their favorite food, and anything you could possibly need to know about them.  They know what they like best, and then they’re letting you in on it.  You could respond in two ways:

1) Take the information they gave you, treasure it, and then use it to bring about their good and happiness.

2) Ignore it, because you may know them better than they know themselves and want to give things a go with your own ideas and way.

You’d be crazy to not pick option one.  Your loved one has told you exactly what makes them content, and you get to contribute to that.  Welcome to the Psalms.

There is a Psalm for everything.  Psalms that praise God in times of thanksgiving, Psalms that petition for His help in dark nights of the soul.  Psalms for asking forgiveness.  These are some of my favorites from the Night Prayers that I’ve said this summer:

“In the morning let me know your love, for I put my trust in you.  Make me know the way I should walk; to you I lift up my soul.”

Be a rock of refuge for me, a mighty stronghold to save me.  For you are my rock, my stronghold. For your name’s sake, lead me and guide me.”

“My soul is waiting on the Lord, I count on His word. My soul is longing for the Lord, more than watchmen for daybreak. Let watchmen count on daybreak, and Israel on the Lord.”

If you haven’t prayed any of the Liturgy of the Hours, I highly recommend them.  There is a website that lets you pray along with them, as well as an app (iBreviary is my favorite free one) that has the readings and Psalms in the order of the day.  Even more beautiful is that these love songs to God can be sang with someone – so join in community and praise Him in the way that He loves best.  

There Be Dragons

One of the many amazing things about this summer is how much my friendship with the saints have grown.  I love getting to know these Heavenly brothers and sisters, and how much I am able to relate to their stories.

One of my summer reading projects has been The Interior Castle by Saint Teresa of Avila.  Ironically, while I’ve been gone, one of our parish priests has been using the writings of Saint Teresa of Avila as material for his morning mass homilies! Great minds think alike, I suppose.

If you don’t know much about Saint Teresa, let me introduce you to her.  She’s pretty amazing.

She was born in 1515 in Spain, and even from a very young age showed great devotion to a prayer life.  She would go on silent retreats as a child, and was always known for giving away her things to the poor.  When she was five years old, she told her little brother she wished to go fight the Moors and be a martyr.  Her mother and her grew very close, but her mother died when she was only a teenager.  At that point, she dedicated herself to Mama Mary as her mother, a relationship that continued throughout her life.

She went to a convent-run school at age 16, but later became very sick.  Yet she used her time as a patient to grow in spiritual reading, and favored medieval mystics – most of whom Ignatius based his spiritual exercises off of.

In 1535, she entered the Carmelite order, but quickly became aware of the worldliness that had seeped into the order.  High name society visited often, and luxury instead of poverty reigned.  So in the early 1560s, she founded new monasteries and convents that followed the original, stricter rule and embraced the vows of poverty.  Her reform movement sparked concern and she was then investigated during the time of the Spanish Inquisition, but charges were not followed through.

She wrote some amazing pieces on prayer and spirituality and is now a Doctor of the Church – one of only four women to be honored with that title.

It is her work, The Interior Castle that was my adoration hour companion this morning.  Although I am a pretty speedy reader, this book is something that is being very slowly consumed.  I had to share this passage in light of struggles I have had recently and the culture that surrounds us today.

“But we speak of the other souls, who finally enter the castle, because, though they are very much entangled with the world, they have good desires, and sometimes, though rarely, they commend themselves to the Lord, and consider what they are, though not very thoroughly.  Perhaps they pray several times a month, yet with many distractions, since their minds are almost always occupied with business, and because they are so attached to it, their heart is where their treasure is.  Sometimes however, they disentangle themselves, and self-knowledge shows them plainly that they are not in a good way to reach the gate.

Finally, they enter the first room on the lower floor, but many reptiles enter with them, and they do not permit them to either see the beauty of the castle, or to find repose in it; it is, indeed, much that they have entered at all.

The Interior Castle, First Mansions

That passage hit me like a ton of bricks…mostly because I discovered that I was reading the description of my life.  How easy it to read about the Lord, talk about the Lord and never once have a legitimate conversation with Him? To let prayer became mundane, a duty that is often shirked for ‘better things to do’ and then simply counting actions as prayer instead of sitting and listening to God.

And I think the biggest culprit is the lack of knowledge on how to structure a prayer life.

And the second biggest culprit is the access that I give the world into my life.  And how much I enjoy it’s presence there instead of being ok with the knowledge that this world is not my home, and Heaven is my end goal, not a fleeting sense of ‘happiness.’


There be reptiles.  There be dragons.

How do we fight them?

For me, today, it was deleting a lot of social media apps off my phone, and then committing to not checking it nearly so often during the day.  Because the reptile of social media plays a pretty darn large role in the blocking of my view from the beauty of the castle inside my heart.  Maybe it’s removing a deadly friendship that is in your life, or picking up the Bible at a set time each day and not letting that slip.

Mother Teresa once wrote, “Be careful of all that can block personal contact wit the living Jesus.  The Devil may try to use the hurts of your life, and sometimes our own mistakes to make you feel it is impossible that Jesus really loves you, is really cleaving to you.  This is a danger for all of us.  And so sad, because it is completely opposite of what Jesus is really wanting to tell you..  Not only that He loves you, but even more.  He longs for you.  He Misses you when you don’t come close.  He thirsts for you.  He loves you always, even when you don’t feel worthy.  When not accepted by others, even by yourself sometimes.  He is the one who accepts you.  My children, you don’t have to be different for Jesus to love you.  Only believe – you are precious to Him.  Bring all you are suffering to His feet – only open your heart to be loved by Him as you are.  He will do the rest.”

If the goal of this life is to know, love, sand serve God and be ultimately with Him in Heaven, then I think my life could use some simplifying.  I think the world could use some simplifying, in all honesty.

So, hopefully with a little help from my Saintly friends – especially Teresa of Avila, this journey into the interior castle can begin.

NFP as a single, college age girl

You wouldn’t think that the words “Natural family planning” and “single Catholic college girl” would work together in one sentence very well. Well, until now that is.  It’s not just for married couples – the concepts introduced with Natural Family Planning are concepts that can affect every one’s life, regardless of what stage you’re at.  So why now? 

Because you shouldn’t wait until you are married to start thinking about your fertility.

It’s easy to think that the time we have right now while in college is not the time to be worried about fertility and all that jazz.  We’re young.  We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us.  Yet let me tell you something – it is becoming more and more obvious to me that life is literally flying by quicker than I can blink.  My little sister just graduated from high school.  My co-worker just got married and now has a beautiful little baby.  My college peers are graduating.  Life is happening, and snap you’re fingers and you’ll be at another stage of your life.  Don’t wait until you’re married to start thinking about how to take care of your health and fertility.

Because you should know where you stand on the issue of birth control before you are in a relationship.

The number one reason marriages don’t last anymore? Failed communication.  When birth control was first introduced to the public scene in the early 1960s, it’s affect on issues like divorce wasn’t something that was on people’s minds.  This was about improving marriages! Less stress around pregnancies, littles, and a general well being of the family.  But come in the 1970s, and divorce rates doubled.  And it didn’t stop in the 70s  – the number of divorces tripled from 400,000 in 1962 to 1.2 million in 1981.

Why? Because birth control in a marriage says one thing and does another.  Sex, by it’s unitive and procreative nature, says “Here is all of me!” but the addition of birth control tacks on “Well, all of me except my fertility.  And our future children.”  And that communication can tear down a marriage that is meant to be, according to the Catechism, “ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring” but instead reduces both members down to the sum of their parts.

Because it’s not birth control…which is what my doctors want me to be on.

It seems now a days that any medical issue that arises in a girl’s life is a case where birth control is prescribed by her doctor.  According to a study conducted in the United States, from 2006-2010, 62 percent of all women in the United states who are of reproductive age are currently prescribed some form of contraceptive birth control.

I’ve been there.  I’ve sat down with my doctor and heard how medical issues would be easily, quickly, and painlessly resolved if I would just let her write a prescription for birth control for me.

But there are a lot of risks associated with just the pill – most of which are not gone over in the doctors office when the pill itself is prescribed.  The pill is actually a combination of two different hormonal medications: estrogen and progestin.  Because of this increase in hormone presence in the body, the pill carries with it many side affects, one of them being breast cancer.  Research indicates that the birth control pill itself will increase the risk of a woman getting breast cancer by over 40% if she takes the pill before she has her first child.  After she delivers her first baby though, the chances rocket to over 70% increase of breast cancer risk if she continues for more than four years.

My family has a very high risk of breast cancer on both sides of my family, so taking the pill for me would be not only putting my current health at risk, but also placing the time I spend with my future family at jeopardy
 as well.  Other than just breast cancer risks though, the pill’s side affects also include higher blood pressure, heart health issues, blood clotting, a lack of fertility once off the pill prescription, increase of liver and cervical cancers, difficulty breast feeding and a lowering of the immune system to AIDS and HIV.  

On top of all this, the cost of being on the pill for just five years is over $1,000.  I’m in college.  And I drink a lot of coffee.  The budget that I have for medication is very small – and to be purchasing something that acts as a band-aid for the medical issues that I do have, only to increase my future medical risks and costs isn’t a cost effective choice. 

Studying the concepts of Natural Family Planning – such as the charting and tracking of fertility – is one way that NFP has been a blessing to me as a single Catholic woman.  Instead of relying on artificial hormones, I’m able to utilize the concepts of NFP to track my fertility and expose a lot of the underlying issues that birth control might have covered up – like the simple addition of vitamins into my diet and a better awareness of my fitness and general health.  

Also, this book was incredibly helpful for that reason.  

Because your body is amazing…and knowing how it works is fantastic too.

Even if you’re not married, or heck, if you’re in the same boat as me and you’re not even dating, it’s no excuse to not appreciate how stinking amazing the human body is.  One of my dearest friends is in veterinarian school and sends me facts about the body and the reproduction system and it’s amazing. For instance, did you know that, for women, the smell of a newborn baby triggers the same part of the brain reward center as a drug addiction does?  God has literally thought of everything imaginable and to be able to learn about it is the bomb.

Although it may not seem like it, in your early twenties is the ideal time to learn all of this as well.  Down the road you may have a family, a full time career, graduate degree work, or any other number of amazing thing God has planned for you.  Right now is the perfect time to dig into the amazing work He’s laid out for us in our creation.

Because life is beautiful no matter what stage of life you’re in.

This morning at church I sat behind a family with five littles.  They were gorgeous – all of them under ten and full of life and energy.  And it was beautiful.  Am I utilizing NFP right now to plan my family with my spouse? Nope.  However, knowing how NFP works and the Church’s teachings concerning families right now helps so much when both interacting with families now and when I, God willing, have my own family in the future.

God’s plan for your fertility doesn’t start when you put on a wedding dress.  Or when you are called to start a family.  Or even if you are not called to marriage at all.  Your body is good. It makes it possible for you to be Christ’s hands and feet to the world around you.

This weekend we celebrated the Feast of the Ascension – yet another way that Christ tells us that our bodies are important.  He rises, body and soul, and ascends into Heaven.  If the body wasn’t important, Christ wouldn’t have a glorified one.

So take the time now to learn more about your fertility.  It is never too early to glorify the Lord with your whole self.

For further resources, check out these amazing websites:

– Couple to Couple League: A great way to learn the basics of NFP and how they interact in a – marriage.

United States Conference of Catholic Bishops: This website has some great articles about the religious explanation of why the Catholic Church supports NFP.

Carrots for Michaelmas: Haley Stewart is probably the most incredible Catholic mama blogger in my opinion.  She’s sassy, has an incredible sense of style, and, in her own words is a “homeschooling, bacon-eating, coffee-drinking southern girl with a flair for liturgical feasts and a penchant for bright red lipstick.”  In other words, who I want to be when I grow up.  She has a fantastic piece on her NFP experience over on her blog.

There are countless of other bloggers who have written on their experience with NFP – the good, the bad, and the ugly.  If you’re looking for some more information on the subject, drop me a note in the comment box and I’ll get you set up.

Christ’s Wedding Day

Good Friday.  The day we set aside once a year to commemorate the death of Our Lord for our sins and the opening of the gates of Heaven for our salvation. We remember God, who took on human nature and all of it’s messiness in order to spend eternity with us, His beloved children, and His beloved bride, The Church.

What if we thought of Good Friday as a a wedding feast in conjunction with Christ’s sacrificial love?  In his book, Jesus the Bridegroom: The Greatest Love Story Ever Told, Brant Pitre examines the actual event of the crucifixion in the light of historical Jewish wedding.  He places Christ as the Heavenly bridegroom and the Church as His eternal bride.
In an earlier post, I wrote about how Christ yearns to be intimate with us, emptying Himself into something so simple as bread and wine so that He can physically be within our very bodies.  In Mass tonight, the Homily focused on Christ’s desire for us to know God – to be intimate with Him.  Not just to know about Him, but to really know Him as the most important thing in our lives. 
In Biblical terms, the phrase “to know” indicates a physical relationship, or an absolute knowledge of the other. The Hebrew word is “Yada.”  John  W. Ritenbaugh in his study of the old testament Hebrew language wrote, 

“At times, the Bible uses “to know” as a euphemism for sexual intimacy. Paul is not saying here [in Philippians 3:8-10] that he desires sexual intimacy with Christ, but that he greatly desires spiritual intimacy with Him. He wants to be so close to Him that he experiences the same level of life as Jesus did—even to the point of suffering or dying as He died, if that is necessary to be made like Him in every possible way. He desires to glorify God in every aspect of his life just as Jesus did.”

 In Joshua 23:14, Joshua gathers the people to tell them about their relationship with the Lord.  “Behold this day I am going into the way of all the earth, and you shall know with all your mind that of all the words which the Lord promised to perform for you, not one hath failed. ” 

In Luke 1:34, Mary’s eternal virginity is emphasized with her lack of previous intimacy and full knowledge with any man. “And Mary said to the angel: How shall this be done, because I know not man?

Christ desires to be intimate with us.  To have absolute knowledge of us.  In John 17:3-4, He prays to the Father before His passion. “Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.  I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do.”  
And what is more physical than Christ’s passion and death for our salvation?  He is betrayed with a kiss from a close follower, and then goes through the most physically excruciating death imaginable for a person in the fist century.  He is covered in His own blood, the physical life of His body (and the spiritual life of ours), and drags a wooden beam through streets crowded with the jeering of the souls He is on His way to die to save.  His body is fastened and hoisted in the sky, where He physically must thrust Himself up to fill His lungs. 
All the while, He thinks of you.
And when the crowds yell at Him to come down from the cross and prove that He is God, He thinks of you.  “I can’t come down from the cross.  I have to stay up here for (insert your name) because one day, even if it’s over two thousand years in the future, they are going to need me.  And how can I teach them of the beauty of suffering if I give up now?”  
And then, “It is finished.”  There is a spear thrust into His heart that is so full of overflowing love for our soul despite how much pain we have caused Him that blood and water flow from His side.
Brant Pitre points out the significance of this final physical aspect of Christ’s death. “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept he took out one of his side (Greek pleura) and closed up its place with the flesh; and the rib which the Lord had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to man….so too Jesus falls into the sleep of death, and blood and water flow from his side (Greek pleura) And just as the miraculous creation of the first bride from the side of Adam is the foundation of marriage of man and woman, so the miraculous flow of blood and water from the side of Jesus is the origin and foundation of the marriage of Christ and the Church.”
So Christ pours out His very life on the altar of the Cross on Good Friday, that supposedly dark day that ushered in the redemption of our souls from a debt that we could never pay off.  And the Catholic Mass taps into the eternal sacrifice at Calvary.

 In The Faith of Millions, John A. O’Brien said, “The Mass is the renewal and perpetuation of the sacrifice of the cross in the sense that it offers [Jesus] anew to God . . . and thus commemorates the sacrifice of the cross, reenacts it symbolically and mystically, and applies the fruits of Christ’s death upon the cross to individual human souls. All the efficacy of the Mass is derived, therefore, from the sacrifice of Calvary.”

What will your wedding gift to Christ be?  A Sunday morning hour when convenient for you? He sacrificed His entire life for you…are you willing to do the same for him?