What is this thing called friendship?

Well, if you haven’t noticed, I’ve been reading/listening to Jason Evert quite a bit lately.  I love it!  The more I listen to the concepts of theology of the body, the more and more I fall in love with God and His incredible plan!

I have actually been thinking a lot about the idea of friendship a lot lately – and it’s importance in the dating situations.  How crazy is it that with almost every relationship with guys that us girls have, we have to find a way to turn it partially into an emotion fest?  For instance:

“Wow, I really like _______(insert guy’s name here) because he is has such an amazing heart for kids.  What a great friend……he’d make a good dad.  Hmmmm……”


“I really like hanging out with ____________ (insert guy’s name here) because I can just talk to him without worrying about drama. Oh my word, what is he doing spending all his time with that other girl?”

See what I mean?  Great basis – friendship, but we still want to control them.  We want them all to ourselves.  Here is the thing ladies.  You do not need to be best friends with all the guys in hopes that one of them will value your stellar personality, beautiful soul, and stunning features.  You need to be friends with guys AND girls because we are all created in the image of God.

So what do you do when your emotions start to drag down the friendship aspect of your relationship with the guys in your life? I have uncovered a great trick for this dilemma.  Let me share the secret with you:

If God is calling you to the vocation of marriage, somewhere out there (in the great unknown, in a galaxy far, far away….just kidding!) there is your future husband.  He’s real.  He does exist.  He’s got ups and downs in life, and may be struggling with things at the moment.  Take it in, since every once and a while it really hits me…..he’s real!  He really is out there!  I never realized it was possible….to love a guy so much and I haven’t even met him yet.  Or, of course, I do know him but I just know him as a friend. 

I digress.  Anyway, somewhere out there, I’m sure other girls are finding my future guy pretty handsome.  (Pff, of course, who wouldn’t!)  Some may be getting pretty emotionally involved with him, too.  So, out of respect to my future marriage,  I would want them to look and interact with him in all purity.  This does not mean “Oh, I’m not going to have emotions because guys are bad and liking them will send me to Hell.”  No! Purity means “How can I help all around me get to Heaven?” 

So, if I’m hoping and praying for the girls around my guy to act with all purity, I owe it to them to treat their future husbands with dignity and purity, too.  I know a lot of great Catholic guys, maybe none of which I will not marry, since they are some other lucky girl’s guy (or the Church’s, if the priesthood is their vocation.).  So, I must treat all guys as brothers in Christ – with not a hint of lust in my heart. 

In this way, I can walk to the altar to my groom and say “Love, I did it…here is my whole heart that I saved for you.  Here is my whole body that I saved for you.  Here is all of me…not parts of me. “

Can’t wait!  Until then, I have this blessed time of singleness to grow close to the Lord and the Church.  A time for everything, a season for all things.

It’s going to be epic though…just saying!

God bless and have a wonderful weekend,

Chloe M.

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