No to Love?
If you didn’t know, the buzz word in the media this week has been “gay marriage,” “Prop. eight,” and “homosexuality.”  Where does the Church stand in the midst of all this turmoil?  How do we know?  What do we do? The answer is simple: we need to break down one of the biggest arguments given in support of homosexuality.

“Why can’t they love each other.”  Do not get me wrong.  Love is an amazing thing – it really is.  What really gets me is that we don’t do the word “love”justice anymore.  How many times have you said the word “love” today and not thought about it?  For instance, “I love french fries!”  Yes, I have a weakness for french fries myself, but I do not love them in the truest sense of the word.

In the grand scheme of translation, we have lost a lot on the English side of things.  The Greeks had four words for love.  We have….one.  Let’s take a look at all four of those definitions, shall we?

Type One: Agape.  This is a truly amazing love – one which we cannot literally live without.  This is the love that God has for us, His children.  Best summed up for us in 1 Corinthians 13, this love is pretty incredible.  In fact, it is unconditional.  Unable to be completely expressed by humans, this love comes from God.

Type Two:  Storge.  This is another good type of love.  This word was used most often to describe the love a mother or father feels for their children.  Partially unconditional, because there is a deep bond between parents and children, it has its faults because it is expressed by humans.  Yet is a natural love that comes forth from a family relationship. 

Type Three: Eros. This is what we think of when we think of the word “love.”  It is a passion for someone, a desire to be with them and express your love physically.  In it’s truest form, it is expressed between a husband and a wife bound by marital vows. 

Type Four:  Philia.  A completely selfless love based on mutual loyalty and trust.  It is most commonly seen between siblings and close friends who seem to know each other incredibly well.  This love does not seek to take anything, but only wishes to give.

Now, here is the problem.  We have reduced all love to Eros (type three).  To continue along the degrading of love, we’ve reduced Eros to sex.  To put this in perspective: People will often get mad when there is any opposition to same-sex unions because they think people won’t allow them to love each other.  What they really mean is that we don’t think they should have sex with the same gender. 

Do Christians say people with homosexual tendencies can’t love? NO!  By all means – God IS love and we are called to
imitate Him.  Do you know which of the types of human love the Greeks thought was the highest?  Philia.  Brotherly love (or sisterly) that gives all without expecting anything back.  Love that makes sure that the other person is being taken care of.

If you really love someone, what is of more concern to you:  Gaining physical pleasure for yourself or the health of the other person’s soul?  I pray that you answer the second!  True love means wishing the best possible for the other.  So if someone has a same-sex attraction, what would be the best response?  Seeing that acting out on that attraction would harm the other’s soul, and thus turning from that acting out and turning towards Christ in purity.

Love is so incredible.  God made love, so it s good – if not abused.  God help us recognize the beauty of such an incredible gift and behave accordingly.

God bless you all,

Chloe M.

One thought on “

  1. Hey, Chloe,

    As you say, it is such a pity how our society makes the words “love” and “sex” synonymns, to the point where a person can't “love” unless they have “sex”! It's all rather rediculous.

    I find “Philia” the most appealing of the loves. I think that should actually be the basis of marriage as well as friendship and family ties.

    I honestly don't have much experience with “the spark” of being physically attracted to someone and would be pretty contented never to have it! Courting and marrying an average-looking Catholic geek with good manners, a good sense of humor, intelligence, and a compassionate heart is my idea of happiness!



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